A Very Badger Harrowing
by HoneyBadgerDC
Summary: Summoner Badger loves haunted houses, but what happens when he ends up dragging his friends along for the ride? What happens when he gets the Shadow Isles champions involved? How about when Persephone decides to help as well? CROSSOVER BETWEEN MY OTHER STORIES!


***AUTHORS NOTE***

Sorry for no recent updates, I've been working on this for awhile! Happy Halloween and Happy Harrowing everybody!

-HoneyBadgerDC

* * *

><p>"Uh... Badger... are you sure about this?" Ezreal asked.<p>

"It's cool! It's cool! Just be quiet!" Summoner Badger replied, hushing him.

"I don't think this was a good idea..." Fiora whispered, nervously.

"Since when do I have good ideas?"

"That is a valid question, Summoner Badger." Rengar answered.

"I think his ideas are great!" Diana said, cheerily.

As she said it, however, they heard a door down the hallway slam.

"Then again... this one may not have been one of the better ones..." She whimpered.

The five of them were in a dark hallway, barely lit up by dim, red ceiling lights.

Badger had suggested that, for the Harrowing, they all go to the Zaunite House of Horrors. His favorite holiday was the Harrowing, and he had wanted to include his friends in it.

Unfortunately, Jayce was working on an invention, Caitlyn and Vi were dealing with pranksters, and Zac was stealing candy.

"Let us just get this over with, I have plans to attend a party with Vi tonight" Rengar growled, striding forward. The others followed.

The floor creaked under them as they walked, the wooden surface letting out groans and squeaks.

"Jay, couldn't we do something else? Perhaps a romantic carriage ride through a pumpkin patch?" Fiora asked, hopefully.

"Ooh! That does sound fun! Can I come too?" Diana inquired.

"Sure, it beats this any day" Fiora replied.

"If you girls want to leave, go for it. The MEN will face this with bravery." Rengar teased.

"Yes, maybe you'd be more comfortable making sandwiches" Ezreal chuckled.

Before the two of them could react, Ezreal was in a choke hold by Diana, Rengar was on the ground, Fiora's heel digging into his back.

"IT WAS JUST A JOKE!" They both yelped.

"Could you guys shut up? We're about to get to the first room!" Badger stated, cheerily.

Ezreal and Rengar were let loose, both let out pained grumbles.

Fiora and Diana smiled, and high five'd one each other.

The five of them then walked through the door that led to the first room of terror.

The room they entered was... lame.

Lame to Badger, anyways.

Fake skeletons sat in dusty chairs, dark curtains obscured most of the light, and red water (which looked like it should be blood) littered the floor and walls.

"Gah! Come on!" Badger said, annoyed.

He did not notice the terrified visages of Rengar and Diana.

"Good gods! What has happened here?!" Rengar yelped.

He turned to them, "You guys are kidding right?" he asked.

That's when he heard a WOOSH.

Everyone in front of him had their eyes widened, and they all cried out in fright.

"What?" Badger asked, turning around again.

He pouted when he saw that a bat decoration had swung down from the roof.

He turned again, "You guys have fought creatures like Nocturne and Fiddlesticks, and you're scared of this fake crap?" he inquired.

Diana, Fiora, and Ezreal nodded, Rengar's eye darted around.

"Come on, Rengar, you must get ambushed by jungle creatures all the time, surely this is nothing to you?"

"Summoner Badger, my optic sensor can see the heat signature of living things, these decorations and surprises, however, are undetectable, even to me!"

Badger sighed, "Come on, hopefully this gets better."

As he walked, he felt a hand grip his own.

He looked to his right, to see Diana trembling.

He sighed as he felt another hand grab his left, it was probably Fiora.

To both his shock and amusement, however, it was actually Rengar.

"... No comment" Badger sighed.

Badger turned the knob to the next room, only to find that it was locked.

He tried jiggling the handle, he tried to pull it harder, it wouldn't' budge.

"Thank god" Ezreal said, quietly.

"Wait here" Badger growled as he stalked past them.

"Jay? Where are you going?" Fiora asked.

"Just give me a minute." He muttered.

They watched as he walked through the first room, then out of sight.

Suddenly, the dimly lit hallway exploded into light, green energy crackled along the seams, spiders crawled along the walls.

Badger appeared again, smiling wickedly.

"... Jay, what did you do?" Fiora inquired nervously.

"I spoke to the manager and asked if I could help out. When he said yes, I called in a few favors! Time to make this Harrowing REALLY scary!" He announced.

Ezreal was about to comment, then yelped when he heard a haunting laugh.

"IS THAT THRESH?!" Diana cried.

"YEAH! I SUMMONED ELISE, THRESH, HECARIM, FIDDLESTICKS, AND SHACO TO TURN THIS PLACE INTO A REAL HORROR HOUSE!" Badger exclaimed.

His friends all looked at him, then to each other, and nodded.

They then all bolted to the door that Badger had come from.

"Oh come on guys! This is going to be fun!" He laughed.

"I agree!" Another voice yelled behind him.

The others turned, Sejuani was standing beside Badger, grinning ear to ear.

"OH YEAH, I also summoned Sejuani so that she could enjoy this with us. I don't want to be stuck with scaredy cats (No pun intended, Rengar) all night" Badger chuckled.

Fiora immediately steeled herself and returned to his side, there was no way in hell she was leaving Badger alone with Sejuani.

"IT'S LOCKED!" Rengar yelled.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Ezreal wailed.

"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AFTER ONLY LOSING MY VIRGINITY ONCE! BADGER, DROP YOUR PANTS" Diana cried.

"What?!"

"Everyone calm down!" Badger shouted, "These guys are all under League conditions still, they won't actually hurt you! They just want to have a fun Harrowing as well!"

"Yeah! Chill out you pansies!" Sejuani laughed.

"THEIR FUN" Ezreal began.

"INVOLVES CUTTING" Rengar continued.

"US OPEN!" Diana finished for him

"They won't hurt you! Damn guys, grow a pair! You fight them all the time!" Badger roared.

"Summoner Badger... I'm waiting in the next room..." a voice called.

"Ooh! I recognize that voice! ELISE, I HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO SCARE ME OUT OF MY MIND!" Badger yelled, excitedly.

"Come and find out for yourself..."

"WOO!"

Fiora watched, annoyed, Sejuani, intrigued, Diana, Rengar, and Ezreal terrified, as Badger ran to the next room.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Badger!" Rengar roared, running after him.

"Jay!" Fiora cried.

"Not my squishy boy!" Sejuani yelped.

Diana and Ezreal exchanged frightened looks, but followed everyone else.

* * *

><p>Badger laughed wildly as he swung through the air.<p>

He was completely encased in a web, and was going higher and higher towards a hole in the ceiling.

"Man, Elise, you totally caught me off guard" He chuckled.

There was no response from the Spider Queen as he continued his ascent, laughing all the way.

He grinned ear to ear when he saw his friends and lover enter the room, they wouldn't see him at this point, meaning they were left to their own devices in the haunted house.

"Hmm... that may be bad... Hey, Elise, can you actually put me down?"

No response.

Badger sighed, and shrugged his shoulders (Well, did his best to, the webbing constrained his movements), these were battle hardened League champions, they would be fine. Besides, they weren't in any REAL danger.

He chuckled darkly as he was pulled into blackness, time for some real thrills.

* * *

><p>"Why did our writer feel the need to break the laws of time, space and the fourth wall to bring us here?"<p>

"No idea, we aren't even featured in the original Adventures, and, if you read the ending of Serylda, it's not even canon with him anymore."

Persephone sighed, "This is redundant, why would I bother with such trivial activities such as celebrating. I don't even follow your mortal events, with the exception of the Harrowing."

"Persephone," Rex said, striding with her towards the Zaunite house, "It IS Harrowing?"

She stopped, her head whipping to look directly at her Summoner. A chill could be felt through the air as she grinned.

"Oh… Oh my…." She cooed, brushing her long hair from her face.

"Mistress Death, what is it you are planning?" Thanatos asked from behind her.

Suddenly, she bolted forward, her legs fading into a shadowy spoke that wisped from behind her. Cackling, she dove into the front walls of the Zaunite Haunted house and disappeared, leaving her subordinate and Summoner standing side-by-side.

"We need to go after her," Thanatos declared.

"We're going to chase Death into a haunted house?"

"Indeed."

Rex sighed, "I don't get paid enough for this."

Walking forward, however, he and the massive armored being followed their rambunctious leader.

* * *

><p>"JAY! JAY!" Fiora cried, desperately.<p>

"Summoner Badger!" Rengar called.

"Badger!" Diana and Sejuani yelled.

"HE'S DEAD, WE'RE NEXT!" Ezreal wailed, running around the room in circles.

"Nonsense my dear Ezreal, your beloved Badger is in the next room..." a familiar voice cackled.

"Thresh? Don't play with me man!" Ezreal replied.

The only reply they received was haunting laughter as the door opened on its own.

"I HATE THE HARROWING" Sejuani cried as she ran down a long hallway, Rengar in her arms.

"RIGHT! TAKE A RIGHT! Hecarim is waiting on the left!" Rengar roared.

"WHY AM I CARRYING YOU?!" She asked, annoyed.

"BECAUSE I'D DO THE SAME FOR YOU, AND YOU RUN FASTER THEN ME!" Rengar replied.

"Aww, Rengar, I didn't know you liked me that much" Sejuani teased.

"I enjoy your company, Winter's Wrath." Rengar stated.

"You're cool too! But for now, USE YOUR OWN DAMN LEGS!" She demanded, dropping him.

"HURAAH HA HA HA HA HA!"

Both of them went wide eyed when they looked towards the way they came, Hecarim was sprinting at them, terrifying spectral riders accompanying him.

"FUCK THIS HOLIDAY!" They both cried as they ran.

* * *

><p>"Fiora, I'm worried about Badger" Diana whispered.<p>

"I'm sure he's fine, he's friends with all these monsters, it's us I'm concerned about" The Duelist replied, tiptoeing through one of the many rooms of the haunted house.

"So, about what happened at the springs..." Diana continued.

Fiora blushed, "Do we have to talk about this right now?"

"No, I just wanted to say if you wanted to do it again, but just us, I'd be okay with that."

Fiora raised an eyebrow, and was about to ask about that, when she heard a sound coming from a nearby wardrobe.

They both jump when they saw the thing tremble, and screamed when the doors shot open.

Ezreal immediately leapt out, and clung to Diana's leg.

"OH THANK GOD! WHEN WE GOT SPLIT UP FROM ONE ANOTHER BY EVELYN, THRESH AMBUSHED ME! I THOUGHT I WAS A GONNER, THANK YOU!" Ezreal cried.

Fiora sighed in relief, Diana was still, her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide.

"Diana?"

Ezreal let go of Diana's leg, "Uh, why is your leg wet?"

Diana was silent, Fiora let out a quiet "Oh." and quickly shooed Ezreal back into the closet.

"Did you really?" Fiora inquired.

Diana nodded.

"You yelped when Evelyn appeared with a severed head, but Ezreal jumps out of nowhere, and you piss yourself?" She asked.

Diana nodded again, embarrassed.

"Jeez. Alright, give me a second, take off your pants." She groaned.

"WHOA, WHAT AM I MISSING?!" Ezreal yelled from the closet.

Fiora ignored him as she took her coat off. She then took the long piece of clothing and helped Diana slide into it.

The coat ended below Fiora's knees, but Diana, being shorter, was able to make it go to her ankles.

Finally, Fiora zipped it up so that Diana was covered.

"Thank you, Fiora."

"When we get out of this house, I am going to beat Jay. I'm going to beat him severely." Fiora growled.

Diana blinked, and nodded.

"Alright, Ezreal, you can come out now."

No response.

"Ezreal?"

Silence.

"Listen you idiot, just because I didn't want to-" Fiora stopped mid-sentence as she opened the closet, Ezreal was gone.

Fiora turned around, only to see Diana once again with her hands over her mouth, she was looking up.

Fiora reluctantly did so as well, and felt her jaw drop.

Ezreal was on the ceiling, eviscerated, his internal organs nailed to the wooden planks. His eyes were bloodshot and whited out, his jaw was open and maggots crawled out of it.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

"Fiora?"

"Diana, I'm going to need my coat back."

The two screamed as the explorers eyes suddenly looked at them, they made a break for it down the hall.

* * *

><p>Evelyn woke up, her vision was spinning. The last thing she remembered, she had snuck up behind Summoner Badger's friends, appeared with a (possibly not) fake head, and.. that was it.<p>

She seemed to remember a gauntlet-covered fist striking her, however.

"Oh yeah, Sejuani... I think she warned me not to startle her..." She mused.

A chill crept through her skin as a breeze flowed through the house. An eery, unnatural feel to the wind.

"Wait a minute, aren't the doors all locked? How is wind blowing through this place?" She asked aloud.

Suddenly, a horrible laugh echoed through the halls, a chilling wail of screaming spirits and horrified ghosts.

Even Evelyn, who was used to the horrors of the Shadow Isles, felt immense fear as the floor began to crack open. A black hole formed in the boards as the screaming suddenly stopped.

The Widowmaker breathed a sigh of relief, it must have just been one of her fellows scaring the summoner and his friend-

"AIAIAIAIAIAAIIAIAIAIAAIAIAI!~~!~! ! !"

A mangled skeleton shot itself out of the hole, is eye sockets hollow, its jaw letting out a wretched howl directly into her face.

Evelyn screamed as well, and bolted down the hallway, her cries echoing throughout the house.

The skeleton stopped its scream slowly dissolved, Persephone's smirking visage appearing momentarily before she faded away to continue her fun.

* * *

><p>"Ha! That tickles!"<p>

"Mmm… Summoner Badger…"

"Ha… Ha-ha… Mmm… Elise that feels good…"

"I hope it does, I'm putting in a lot of effort here…"

"Ah! That's a tensed muscle!"

"Don't worry, Summoner ~ I'll make sure you're all relaxed."

"Awesome!"

"Hmm… Someone is coming… We'll have to stop for now, lest your lover or your friends suspect something…"

"Damn, okay Elise, let's stop for now, I hope we can continue soon!"

Elise put her make up brushes back in her case and covered the Summoner's now-heavily detailed back in his robe. Since she had taken him to the attic, she had been applying layer after layer of makeup to his body, turning him into a reptilian like monster from the neck down.

He put his hood over his neck and bunched it up, a smirk crossed his face as he looked at the Spider Queen.

"So, do I look convincing right now?" He asked, "Can you see any of the makeup you did for me?"

She shook her head as she closed her case and turned back to him, "No, I do believe you are all set for your little fun affair, but keep in mind, I expect you to keep your end of the deal."

He raised an eyebrow but nodded, "Dinner next week? Fine by me, but I need to make sure Fiora knows in advance, so she knows that I'm not dating anyone behind her back!"

Elise narrowed her eyes, "Indeed. Regardless, I am off!"

With that, she opened a trap door and leapt through it, sealing it behind her as she did so.

* * *

><p>The door to the room shot open as Fiora and Diana barged in, panic on their faces.<p>

Slamming the door and propping up numerous pieces of furniture behind them, Fiora let out a sigh before she turned around.

She started to cry and ran over to him when she saw Badger was alright.

"Oh, hey sweetheart, what's up?"

"Jay Je ne peux pas croire que vous êtes en vie, nous devons sortir d'ici!" she sputtered.

"Fiora, native Valoran please?"

"Jay I can't believe you're alive we need to get out of here!" she repeated, running over to him and wrapping her arms around him.

Diana followed suit, the two squeezed him so hard that he thought he'd lose the air in his lungs.

"Why do we need to go?" He asked, "This place isn't scary at all, as a matter of fact, I plan on asking them to make it scarier!"

Fiora teared up as she grabbed him by the collar, "Jay this isn't a game! It's real! Ezreal! He's! He's!"

"He's dead!" Diana finished, shaking him.

Suddenly Badger's expression changed, "What?"

They both nodded, terrified.

"Ezreal is dead, one of the Shadow Isles champions disemboweled him and painted the ceiling with his body! It was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen!" Fiora cried.

Badger was about to reply, before a thud was heard on the door. Fiora and Diana let out a scream as they went around him and pushed him in front of them. Badger himself seemed to shutter as the door shook, the walls trembled.

Suddenly, the door exploded, and Sejuani smashed inside.

"Holy shit! Badger! You're okay!" She yelled, leaping over to him and hugging him.

"Yes! I'm okay! Glad to see you too Sejuani," He said, taking her shaking hands in his own. Fiora sneered at the sight of the two, but kept her mouth shut.

"Wait a minute, where's Rengar?" Diana asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

Before Sejuani could answer, the man-lion in question appeared in the doorway.

"Summoner Badger my friend!"

"NO RENGAR NO NO NO NO!"

The Pridestalker leapt on top of Badger, wrapping his arms around him and swinging him around.

"My good friend! I am glad to see you are still breathing! I feared the worst for you!"

"RENGAR I AM FINE PUT ME DOWN NOW!"

The lion-man nodded and did as requested, the group immediately propped the door with the pieces of the room again, Badger casted a spell to reseal it all together.

"What are we going to do?! We need to figure out a way to get out of here, or else we're all going to die!" Diana wailed.

"Die? Someone's dead?!" Sejuani asked.

"Ezreal! They got him!" Fiora replied.

"The poor explorer, may he reap the rewards of the afterlife…"

"Actually, that's MY job."

"Very funny yo-" Badger paused midsentence, that wasn't the voice of any of his friends. Turning to the side, they all let out a massive scream. A pale woman stood in the room with them, clad in nothing but a white gown. Her black hair covered the majority of her face, except for her left eye. Nothing was in the socket, but blood poured out of the hole and on to her dress.

"Hope I'm not interrupting!" she declared.

The group let out another shriek as Rengar smashed through the furniture in one shove, the rest of them following him.

The woman watched them go, then allowed her real form to show.

Persephone let out another cackle as she watched them scream, this evening was the most fun she'd had in awhile.

* * *

><p>Badger, Fiora, Sejuani, Diana and Rengar bolted down the halls of the haunted house, screaming at the top of their lungs. Along the way they faced Hecarim's spectral riders, Thresh's various corpses and Elise's spiders, their screams only growing louder as they raced through the house, desperately trying to find an exit.<p>

With the Shadow Isles champions right behind them, the group continued to run, but found themselves turning into a dark hallway, and running into a dead end.

"What do we do now?!" Sejuani asked, frantic.

"We need some sort of escape route!" Rengar shouted.

"I don't want to die!" Fiora cried.

Suddenly, the various noises and screams went silent, their only sound replaced by the creaking of floorboards. The darkness at the end of the hallway began to brighten as an eerie green glow flickered along the walls.

"_Cling clang go the chains__  
><em>_Someone's out to find you__  
><em>_Cling clang oh the chains__  
><em>_The warden's right behind you__  
><em>_Quick now, the seeking chains__  
><em>_Approach with their shrill scrape__  
><em>_Don't stop, flee the chains__  
><em>_Your last chance to escape__Drag the chains, drag the chains__  
><em>_With all the strength you may__  
><em>_Drag the chains, drag the chains__  
><em>_'ere they drag you away__Cling clang go the chains__  
><em>_There's no more time for fear__Cling clang go the chains__  
><em>_The last sound that you'll hear" _

They all screamed again as Thresh made himself seen, swinging his chains back and forth and singing his song to them. He cackled madly as Hecarim appeared next to him, followed by Elise, then by a visibly startled Evelyn.

Knowing it was their last hope and praying for a miracle, Badger kissed Fiora, and stepped forward.

"Champions Elise, Thresh and Hecarim and Evelyn, by order of the League, I demand that you cease your actions effective immediately," He declared.

Elise giggled, Evelyn let out a nervous laugh and the two specters just about busted a gut.

"And why," Thresh sneered, "would we do that?"

"You have violated the laws of the arrangement you had with me, you were, under no circumstances, to harm anyone in the house."

Suddenly, their expressions changed.

"We didn't harm anyone?" Elise said, crossing her arms.

"I agree, our job was merely to scare and entertain, not injure," Hecarim agreed.

"What the pony said," Thresh replied.

Badger looked at them, then at Fiora, "Fiora, you said Ezreal was dead right?"

She nodded repeatedly.

He looked back at the Shadow Isles champions, who were now giving each other strange looks and having a conversation about who did what to scare who.

"Okay, okay, if none of you hurt Ezreal, then that means that he's probably okay? It was just an illusion, like that lady with the bleeding eyes!"

"What lady with the bleeding eyes?" The wicked foursome asked.

Badger went sheet white at that, he could tell they were being sincere.

"So wait, if none of you went after Ezreal, and you're all here confirming eachother's stories, and none of you were that scary woman, then that means… Oh…"

The blood drained from his face as he let out a chilling scream, the Shadow Isles champions turned around and backed up as well.

There they were, standing before them all, the same horrifying woman, the meat-covered skeleton, and Ezreal's rotting, dismembered corpse.

The three bodies began to laugh softly, the effects sounding like that of the cheesy haunted house that the members had originally walked into.

Badger let out a sigh of relief as he began to laugh too, "Wow I'm dumb! These must've just been Zaunite robots that were added to make the old house look bad!"

The rest of the group, including the shadow Isles members, started to nervously laugh with him, everyone trying to take the scare well.

Suddenly the three horrors stopped laughing and glared at them. Opening their mouths, they let out an unearthly and horrid wail. The laughter from the main group immediately turned into horrified screams, and even the Shadow Isles champions shrieked in surprise.

Suddenly, the wall behind Badger's group broke down, the pieces of the hallway going everywhere.

Immediately, his group dashed out, screaming into the night as Hecarim, Elise, Evelyn and thresh followed right behind, their cries of terror mixing with those of the mortals. The three specters watched them go, before disappearing with the wind.

* * *

><p>From the hole in the wall, two figures entered the house, one a summoner with spiky black hair, the other, a titanic giant clad in armor. A beautiful woman dressed in purple greeted them.<p>

"It's about time you two made it in here! You missed all the fun!" Persephone declared, puffing out her chest and giving off a pleased tone.

"Pardons, m'lady, but we weren't fast enough to get inside before you sealed all of the doors, I had to make us a new entrance, but first, Rex insisted I needed permission from the owner of the estate," Thanatos replied, bowing.

Rex nodded in agreement.

Persephone sighed but acknowledged that she may have messed up a little. Waving her hand, she allowed a perfectly-fine Ezreal to materialize into view.

"Well, looks like the fun is over my little friend," She said, putting her arms around him and rubbing her head against his.

He looked at her, wide eyed with terror.

She grinned as she removed the gag from his mouth and willed the ropes around his arms to disappear. He too then ran screaming into the night.

"Happy Harrowing!" She called, waving as all of her plaything disappeared on the now-beginning-horizon.


End file.
